EP046 From Conflict to Connection: Authentic Relating and NLP with Cass Thornton

20th October 2026

What if some of the biggest obstacles to connection aren't what other people are doing, but the stories we're telling ourselves about them?

Cass Thornton returns to Akasha Talks to explore Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Authentic Relating and the small changes in awareness that can profoundly affect how we experience ourselves and interact with others.

When Cass last joined me alongside her twin sister Monique, we explored Body Synergy, a model they developed together for improving nonverbal communication and connection with children.

This time, we take a more personal direction.

Cass shares how, when she first discovered NLP, she and Monique were so deeply in conflict that they hadn't spoken for around six months. Through her experiences with NLP, Cass began challenging her own perceptions, emotional responses and the stories she'd been holding onto. She credits that work with helping her rebuild their relationship, which has since grown into a close friendship and business partnership.

We explore how NLP can become part of everyday life, from creating rapport and understanding another person's perspective to changing the way we experience difficult memories, emotions and relationships.

We also explore Authentic Relating, a practice that encourages us to become more aware of what we're actually observing, what we're imagining, and how we communicate those experiences with others.

How often do we see someone do something and immediately decide what it means? How much of our emotional response comes from the present moment, and how much is shaped by previous experiences?

Cass shares some of the practices she's learned for recognising these patterns, taking greater responsibility for her own responses and creating more meaningful connections with others.

We also explore the overlap between NLP and Authentic Relating, including their shared influences from Gestalt therapy, and how the skills developed through one can complement the other.

Towards the end, Cass introduces me to an Authentic Relating exercise called the Curiosity Game, which we play together during the podcast. It's a surprisingly simple way to explore curiosity, communication and what makes a conversation interesting to both people involved.

Some of the things we explore include:

• How Cass uses NLP in her everyday work as a personal trainer

• Building rapport and helping people establish meaningful goals

• Cass's experience of repairing her relationship with Monique

• Submodalities and the differences in our internal experiences

• Changing our relationship with difficult memories and emotional responses

• Why our emotions aren't necessarily reliable indicators of what's happening

• The difference between sensory information and the stories we create around it

• How experiences from previous relationships can influence new ones

• Finding the space between an emotional trigger and our response

• Authentic Relating and the ability to genuinely observe another person's experience

• Learning to receive feedback without becoming defensive

• Authenticity, boundaries and recognising what we can actually control

• How failure and experimentation can become valuable tools for learning

• The five practices of Authentic Relating

• A live demonstration of the Curiosity Game

This conversation is about more than learning communication techniques. It's about becoming more aware of how we create our own experiences, understanding the people around us and discovering new ways to connect.

Connect with Cass Thornton

Cass's Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/coachaf.cass/

Melliodora Grove website:
https://www.melliodoragrove.com/

Melliodora Grove Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/melliodoragrove

Email:
info@melliodoragrove.com

Learn NLP with Cass and William T. Batten

Cass and Will are joining me at Branches of Healing in East Maitland for an experiential NLP workshop, exploring practical skills for communication, personal change, perception and relating to others.

20 to 22 November 2026
https://branchesofhealing.com.au/events/nlp2

15 to 17 January 2027
https://branchesofhealing.com.au/events/nlp3

Cass also discusses the possibility of running Authentic Relating workshops in the future. You can contact her directly through her Instagram or Melliodora Grove if you're interested.

Related Akasha Talks episodes

EP042 Body Synergy with Monique and Cass

Cass and Monique explore their Body Synergy model, developed to improve nonverbal relating and connection with children.

https://akashatalks.buzzsprout.com/441445/episodes/19562704-ep042-body-synergy-with-monique-and-cass

EP043 Hypnosis and NLP with William T. Batten

Will and I explore NLP, hypnosis, modelling human excellence, unconscious processes and the possibilities of changing how we experience the world.

https://branchesofhealing.com.au/ep043

Akasha Talks

Find more conversations about consciousness, hypnosis, healing and personal transformation at:

https://www.akashatalks.com/podcast

Thanks for listening,

Lance Baker

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